I’m a child in a heart beat


When I was younger, a child, I used to listen to my pillow every night. In my pillow lived a magical lady walking up and down a path of shingle. I pondered every time I heard her; did she have a huge path in front of her cottage? where was she going? and why did she never get there?… but I always fell asleep wondering. I loved it when she visited me as I felt calm, peaceful and loved.

As an adult I discovered, almost as if I always actually knew, that of course this constant flow of movement and beat was my heart beat. Every night as I put my ear to my pillow the rhythm of my life pumping through my body would send me to sleep.

Children’s wonder is magical, it’s filled with possibilities, with comfort and with joy. They know deep down, as did I, the facts – but they seem to know so much more!! They are not confined to restrictive ways of thinking but just explore to their hearts content which gives them truths, truths as adults we struggle to understand.

Now I am an adult.
I was just listening to a voice memo I recorded recently of the the waves greeting me as I walked along the beach. I recorded it so I could listen to the sea whenever I wanted to. I felt I wanted to hear it just now, for the first time, sitting in my kitchen.

There I was, the lady walking on the stones, with the rush of waves washing in and washing out to a unique rhythm. It was unmistakable, identical and made me freeze with disbelief. I then felt relief as finally after all these years my puzzle was solved “oh of course the magical lady was me by the sea!! That’s why she never stopped”

Where do we begin and where do we end.
The world’s wonders are truly inside of us…In a moment I am united with the sea, with my child-self and with my heartbeat.

Was I a child listening to my adult self walking on the beach?

And am I an adult listening to my child-like heart beating in synchronicity with the ocean?

Oh the magic is infinite xxx

2 thoughts on “I’m a child in a heart beat

  1. Neen

    Brilliant post, I wonder did you choose to hear “her” as a child on your own or did your parents suggest it because I need help in getting my son to sleep!

    1. admin Post author

      Ah, Thank you! No I didn’t tell anyone – I didn’t want them to turn it into adult logic! But it’s certainly worth a try …if it doesn’t freak him out! I used to make up stories with him in it to help him sleep and then moved on to sleep stories in the Calm app – good luck Neen xxx


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